Just another southernsteppa.com weblog
on wednesday night razzle dazzle and some freak marched into the studio to put the finishing touches onto their upcoming album. the tardis studio enetetained us for hours with its array of serious annalogue gear. with the great Chris Rogers on engineering duties, this was always going to be a momentous occasion.
The self titled album ‘mr johnsons marching boys’ should be finished next week.
‘Come gather round people, its time to eat’ the announcer cried. Dressed in a brand new Miami dolphin’s shirt, peter began to eat. With a cup full of water to wash the dogs down and a stomach ready for the onslaught, he quickly began to ram hot dog after hot dog into his mouth. Consuming like a beast, eating like a ravenous boar, the animal that peter had become refused to stop. The other eaters would also devour. Saliva, water, and mashed dog would flow down their throats and faces.
It did not matter to Peter if he won or lost. All he sort was the adulation that a hot dog eating champion was offered. God bless Australia.
razzle dazzle is the bizarro alter ego of a well known hollywood celebrity. born out of a need to enter a dj comp, razzle slowly consumed the young hollywood heartthrob.
on a cold august night in 2002 razzle dazzle arrived at some money hungry nightspot in manly on sydneys northern beaches. he waited quietly at the bar in his brown wig and leopard skin vest while the other contestents played obscene filtered house and waved their arms in the air. razzle was nervous, but the clean fresh taste of bundy on his lips eased the nerves.
at precisely 1015pm, the resident dj called razzle to the dj booth. razzle arrived. took off his shirt. straightened his wig, and began to play. out of the speakers came some bizarre techno that was made in the backtreets of paris. he proceeded to scratch and backspin and dance like a man possesed. one by one he cleared the dancefloor. mixing was haphazard and aggressive, but always of the highest standard. in the middle of some wonky tech he dropped khamals born free. by this time people were laughing at the razzle dazzle. he did not care. he played the full half hour.
he enjoyed it so much at the end of his set ,lathered in sweat he approched the judges to ask if he was going to the next round? the judge told him ‘you played a bit hard’ and ‘the music was all over the place’. razzle replied ‘that is your taste, i am the most skilled contestant in the dj comp!’. razzle never heard from the money hungry club again.
since this time razzle can be found wandering aimlessly. his shirt is still off and his wig is still in good nic. he is looking for a place to play. the competition only hardened razzles resolve. he enters any dj comp he can find.
razzle dazzle is an artist, an anarchist, a musician, he is an ‘enfant perdue’, he is deep behind enemy lines gathering and evaluating important information.
he may be found wearing your clothes, tuning your widescreen to static, stealing your wireless internet. he is going to donate all your money to a worthy cause.
love razzle
